Tipping culture has gone too far and must be stopped
Too many people are asking for too much money for too little. The revolution is nigh.
Time to take a break from the deeper issues of the day and tackle a real problem: gratuity at gunpoint.
Yesterday I made it all the way to online checkout for a restaurant near me. The objective: wings and pizza. I almost never eat pizza and I had a hankering and thought, why not? A large all meat pizza with wings was in my cart and I was ready to fill in my credit card info when I saw the final price. Pizza, wings, taxes and a tip. Excuse me, what? Why was there a tip automatically added? I was ordering online. I would have to put on a bra, get in my car, drive to the establishment, find parking, get my happy ass out of the car and into the restaurant, engage in small talk, take the food and reverse the process. Why, WHY was I asked to tip?
A small rage kindled within me. Sure, I could’ve unchecked and left no tip, but would they spit on my food for not giving them even more of my money? And that wasn’t the point. What irked me was the sheer audacity. I immediately texted a friend to alert her of the grievance against my soul. Her response was perfect but not comforting: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? She then sent me a screenshot of a company asking for a tip for SKINCARE. It wasn’t even prepared food, a SKINCARE COMPANY wanted a tip. Here’s part of our exchange:
Here’s the kicker that I hope a lot of business owners see. Like my friend above, I was so irritated by being asked to tip that I closed out and canceled entirely. Instead of this businesses getting almost $40 from me, they got zero.
Now Courtney, you may say, we need to tip. To tip is to be compassionate human beings and support the minimum wage citizens who walk amongst us. And to that I say “fuck off.”
I have also read online in modern discourse how if you can’t afford to tip, you shouldn’t dine out. But I wasn’t dining out, was I? I was dashing in and dashing out. I thought the origin of tips was for servers, as in the people who served. And always after they’d done their job.
When did we start tipping everyone else for every little thing? And why can’t I pull the Uno reverse card and demand a tip for not requiring a server at all but just retrieving my food? They wouldn’t have to pick up or clean my plate and utensils, wipe down my table, ask me how my day was going, or have to laugh through a terrible joke made awkwardly. Where’s my 20% gratuity for sparing them my presence?
This nagging little rage in me carried over. I went into town today with the intention of renting a flatbed trailer to transport my mower to get mulching blades installed. I know, the plights of someone who lives on acreage aren’t always as thrilling as they may appear. I stopped at the Post Office and considered, for a moment, grabbing coffee and a snacky snack. You know what stopped me other than my two adorable dogs in the backseat who wouldn’t be allowed to dash in? The inevitable moment a barista flipped the iPad and asked for a tip for making my coffee and retrieving a gluten-infused sugar bomb with tongs and bravely stuffing it in a bag. That’s what stopped me. I’m not sure if this is what therapists mean by CPTSD but I think it’s close.
Yes I know I can just click the giant “NO TIP, BECAUSE I HATE YOU ALL” button, but my hide is still too raw from all the chapping of the I pick up and I tip demand from last night. Especially in light of the knowledge my friend imparted, that even freaking SKINCARE COMPANIES are getting on the “tip us just because” bandwagon.
I cannot with this.
Now of course I’m a big believer in tipping servers for their service, especially since I dump my decision fatigue on them like queso on tortilla chips. The last time I truly dined out, as in sat at a table with a menu and someone asked how they could improve my day with food, I legit asked them what they liked best. This is reality of being almost 40, people. Every day there are decisions to be made and I’m sick of it. By the time my day is over, I’m done with choices. So on those rare occasions I go out, I run my finger down the menu in search of what is appealing, and I let the server be the final arbiter in what it is I consume. For real. That’s my life now. I reward these kindly people with my money. Were it appropriate, I’d show up with stacks of ones and slide them between their belts and trousers for every great recommendation they’ve made. Fried cheese curds with honey sriracha sauce and you called me baby? Girl, here’s a five.
Asking for 20% for me to make all my own choices and put on a bra to drive to you only to just turn around and leave, with the added risk I spill dipping sauce all over myself as I’m driving because I’m realistic about who I am as a person? Hell no.
I know we’re in a crap economy. I know inflation has hit us all. But the audacity of asking for tips in addition to the price already set and agreed upon is madness.
This is tip creep and it’s gone too far. I never wanted to be one of those people who was like, “Well, it’s up to the establishment to pay their employees, not me” because ultimately I as the customer am still helping to pay the employee and plus I hate the IRS, so here’s some cash. But with tipping crawling into every industry like stage four cancer, I have to put my foot down. A woman has her limits. I’m setting boundaries. The entitlement and the audacity that people have, demanding a tip, just for doing the bare minimum has to be affecting us as a culture.
Like Ben Franklin said, a penny saved is a penny earned. If SKINCARE COMPANIES (I cannot get over this) are asking for tips, I’m refusing entirely. I will do what I did yesterday and abandon the cart. I’m applying the “If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to dine out” approach globally to establishments that ask for my tip for nothing. I will not patronize them because I cannot afford any more fucks to give. I’m already running at a deficit.
What is the most audacious tip request you’ve seen? Did you tip or did you suffer a brain aneurysm like I did?